My Unaffordable Christmas Wish List

Here are some items that I would love Santa to bring me for Christmas. Unfortunately, neither he nor I have the proper finances to acquire them at the moment.

1. Final Draft 8 (professional screenwriting software)

2. 1 TB G-Raid hard drive

3. A legit still camera (i.e. Canon EOS Rebel T1i)

4. A legit high definition video camera (something along the lines of a Panasonic AG-HMC150)

5. Latest iMac

6. Final Cut Pro Studio

So, yes, basically I would like items that set me up to do actual freelance videography work, so I can make money.

Fingers crossed.

Thrice: "The Weight"

Lyrics from one of my new favorite Thrice songs. Love it!

THE WEIGHT

There's many who'll tell you they'll give you their love,

But when they say "Give" they mean "Take,"

They'll hang 'round just like vultures till push comes to shove;

They'll take flight when the earth starts to shake.

Someone may say that they'll always be true,

Then slip out the door 'fore the dawn.

But I won't leave you hanging on.

Another may stay till they find someone new,

Then before you know they'll be gone.

But I won't leave you hanging on;

No, I won't be that someone.

And come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind

Because Love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.

And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;

I won't run away, though the storm's getting worse and there's no end in sight.

Some talk of destiny, others of fate,

But soon they'll be saying goodbye.

But I won't leave you high and dry.

Because a don't mean nothing

If you can't haul the weight,

And some of them won't even try,

But I won't leave you high and dry;

I won't leave you wondering why.

And come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind

Because Love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.

And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;

I won't run away, though the storm's getting worse and there's no end in sight.

And storms will surely come,

But True Love is a choice you must make

And you're the one that I have set my heart to choose.

As long as I live, I swear I'll see this through.

And come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind

Because Love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.

And come what may, I will be standing right here by your side;

I won't run away, though the storm's getting worse and there's no end in sight.

Ugh...Processing

Much has happened since my last life update. But I am not going to take the time to fill what few readers I may have in on everything that has happened. If you read my last life update post, you'll remember (or won't since it' s been almost 2 months) that I mentioned my grandfather was preparing to pass on. Well, he did shortly after I wrote about it. I flew back for his funeral. Despite the not-so-great circumstances, I had a wonderful time with family that I don't get to see often. Thanks for your prayers.

So what's on my mind now? Too much to write about, but I will say that I am in a weird, unmotivated mindset. I have some great travel/work opportunities coming up in the spring, but nothing major between now and when I go home for Christmas. I feel as though I'm in a state of just plan old survival. It's like I've let my mind go because all I can think about is getting home for Christmas. I've been picking up some random jobs here and there which has been a blessing, but I feel as though that is all that is ahead of me until I go home. When I work, I don't feel like this, and that's nice, but I typically have a few days off in between work, and that's when I feel tired and unmotivated. I'd give just about anything for it to be Christmas now, and for the new year to start.

Why do I want to get home for Christmas so bad? Well, for one, there's a certain girl I want to see, and two, I'm ready to start a new year. It's as if I've given up on 2009. Wow. That's sad. Now, the proactive, reasonable side of me says, "Get your ass in line, Andy. There's so much left to do in 2009." I'm more inclined to follow the voice of reason. There really is so much left for me to do here in L.A. in '09: I have more random jobs that lie ahead of me. I have people to meet. I have a script to work on. I have songs to finish writing.

(Despite all that "given up on 2009" crap, the girl is definitely the main reason I want to go home. Just being honest.)

Ah yes. I love processing in writing for you all to read. Anyway, all of that just to let you know where I'm at in life currently. There's so much more, but don't have the motivation to write about it all ;)

Thoughts: Compassion

Once again, trying to process thoughts. Hope it makes sense, and is helpful to both you and me.

#1: What is compassion?

According to Webster's, compassion is a "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it." Pretty good description. I would add that when we desire to alleviate the distress, we expect nothing in return.

Being compassionate requires that we be aware of those around us, and not be blinded by our own pride or selfish agenda. And not just being aware, but longing to do anything to help those in need. This includes people who may talk bad about you, or who have caused you pain in the past. I believe the biggest enemy of compassion is selfishness. When we are selfish, we only care about ourselves and that we are comfortable. We are too concerned with doing what we want to do that we won't take the time to help a stranger, or even a friend. For those of us who are Christians, we know that Christ felt compassion for the lost-- stranger, friend and foe ((Mark 6:34). This leads us to the next question...

#2: Can you call yourself a follower of Christ, and not have compassion for others?

You can't pick and choose those for whom you have compassion. If you have compassion within you, you have it, and if not, ask the Lord for it. I believe we all have compassion within us, we just don't all allow it to come forth because we are too prideful at times. I do not believe you can pick and choose whom you will have compassion for, and then call yourself a compassionate person. Christ had compassion for everyone. I can't think of anywhere in the Bible that specifically says he had compassion on everybody, including the Pharisees, but I'd like to believe that he did despite how much they disliked him and how many times he stumped them with his wisdom. They were lost-- sheep without a shepherd, and, as I said before, Christ had compassion for those who were lost. As Christians, we are called to be like Christ, and with that comes compassion for others, especially those who are in need.

Extra thoughts:

Now I say that I believe we all have compassion somewhere within us, but thanks to certain people in my life, and my skeptic side, I feel that some people are just more compassionate than others. Or, I wonder, is it just that we show it in different ways? I know people who are Christians that sometimes I wonder if they have an ounce of compassion in them. I'm not talking about "Christians." I'm talking about people who follow Christ, and love the Lord and His will. Yet, still I wonder, do they have any compassion in them? And how does that affect their walk?

I sometimes find myself not wanting to have compassion for certain people, but like I said, you can't pick and choose. It frustrates me, but I can't help but have compassion for them. I wonder if Christ ever felt that way towards the Pharisees.

I consider myself a compassionate, sensitive person, but I also know that I have a lot more growing to do. I think the best way to go about it is to ask the Lord to break our hearts for what breaks His-- to break down our pride and selfishness that we might get ourselves out of the way and allow Him to step in. We can ask the Lord to show us compassion that we might learn how to show it to others. So many people in this world have been hurt by Christians, or the Church, because of our lack of compassion towards them (homosexuals, muslims, Hollywood, people who've had abortions, other denominations, etc). Christ would have compassion, and would open his arms to these people, so why won't we?

As always, please feel free to comment and add your own thoughts on the topic. I'd love to hear them because I'm sure there's so much more to it.

Blessings!

Update on Life

So, I'm back in L.A. after an amazing summer at the Ranch. I'm looking for work, and not having much success. Can't expect too much in the first week though. I do, however, have a contact to possibly to media work for a non-profit organization called Rock for Justice. Hopefully something pans out there. Also, my mom's dad, whom I call "Dadcu" (Dodd-kee), which is welsh for "grandfather," is in very bad health. We're all pretty sure he's on his way out, and it could be a day, a week, a month....who knows? This might sound kind of bad, but I hope that for his sake, he goes sooner than later. The last time I got to see him, me and the family prayed with him, and I'm at peace with that being my last moment with him. I'm just restless over getting the call that he's gone. If you're a praying person, please pray for my family, and for little pain as he prepares to pass on.

I'm going to do my best to get back in to posting on here more regularly. It was difficult this summer. I was pretty busy. I hope you haven't given up on me ;)

Blessings!

UPDATE: Second Wind #2

We're two days into Second Wind #2. The Israeli high school kids are here from Ariel, Israel as well as 300-some other kids. It's going to be a good two weeks. I can feel it. Last week was so slow and laid back (it was a Father-Daughter week). It felt like we did no work, and somehow had a video at the end of the week. The next two weeks will be the complete opposite of that. Your prayers are much appreciated.

Speaking of Israel, I am seriously considering going over there at the turn of the year with the Ranch. So, your prayers about that are much appreciated as well. I need to have $250 non-refundable deposit in by August 1st, and the trip is filling up. The problem-- I don't really have that much that I can deposit at the moment. Greg and I are going to talk with the Ranch about going over there and making a new Israel video for them, and if we do, we're hoping they'll pay our way. Who knows? We'll see. For now, it's Second Wind time.

Blessings!

God answers prayers...

but He loves to do it in His own time, and not ours. Haha. I love it!

So, I was having knee problems as I mentioned in my last post, and I was getting ready to go on the Wilderness trip. The trip involved much hiking, and it was the ups and downs that really caused my knee to hurt. So, needless to say, I was a bit worried about doing the trip. I tried to talk my way out of going on it, but Greg needed me to do it with one of the new video guys because I knew the trip really well. I got my knee prayed over 3 or 4 times for healing, and nothing changed, so I accepted the fact that the Lord probably had a lesson to teach me.

I went on the trip, and the first day, I kept praying that the Lord would be my strength, and that He would help me through the Wilderness with my bum knee. Wouldn't you know it, my knee didn't feel any better or worse, so I took that as the Lord answering that prayer for strength. (He loves to step into our weakness and be our strength) The second day, we got up at 4am to climb Mt. Etna and watch the sunrise with the kids, and my knee held up on the way up, but it hurt pretty bad on the way down. I was a little frustrated at first, but I never got really upset or discouraged.

So, I made it out of the Wilderness with little-to-no knee pain. Praise the Lord! The amazing part is that it's been 2 days since that trip now, and my knee is at 90%. I feel no pain. So, in retrospect, the Lord said "I'll heal you. But not until you learn dependence upon me as your source of strength, and not your own legs." Make me laugh.

Within our video crew there's been a theme of learning dependence upon God in desperate times. It's our own fault too. About 3 weeks ago, we all felt that as a group we needed to be desperate for God. We talked about how we are out here doing a job that we all love, and that some of us are seeking a career in, and how a lot of the other summer staff are working jobs that they don't necessarily enjoy and have to depend on the Lord to get them through every day. We wanted that sense of desperation. So, we got on our faces and asked for it. Over the next week, we experienced a theft (Greg and Chase's laptops, my electric shaver, my headphones, and other various personal items-- weirdest theft ever since my laptop and other very expensive equipment was left), and my knee got busted up. At the end of that week, we were in a time of worship and prayer with some of the staff, and the Lord reminded us of the desperation we had asked for, and showed us that He's been allowing us to experience that. Funny how He answers prayers. Chase and Greg both talked about how even though they both lost their laptops (Greg runs a company off of his), they both had a peace that transcends understanding over the whole situation. Chase made a good point that we are not our own, and therefore, nothing we have truly belongs to us. I heard it said in a sermon once that we are not owners of anything, but only managers (something like that).

So, yeah, all of that to say that the Lord answers prayers, and He does it in His own way and His own time-- the best way and the best time.

Well, I'm off to the coast for a couple days to film and hang out with the junior high group. They sleep in the Redwood Forest tonight, and then go surfing tomorrow. Wednesday, we'll got jet-boating on the river, and eat one of the best meals of the summer. I love my job!

Be Blessed!